Where Have All the Monkeys Gone?


It’s almost like no one wants to be a monkey anymore.

At zoo to young chimpanzee: And what do you want to be when you grow up.
Young chimpanzee: A fireman.

Young orangutan who parents dress him/her as a badger: I want to be a wolverine or an armadillo.


It doesn’t take a crystal ball to see we are heading towards a future in which there will be a huge monkey shortage.

One day in the not too distant future…

A banana truck just overturned on the freeway, do we have enough monkeys to eat those bananas and clean up that mess?

Dead silence.

That freeway would never open again.

Police to organ grinder: You’re under arrest.

Organ grinder: But I have a permit

Police: That monkey is a monkey pinata mounted on a turntable.

Christie’s Auction House:

How much am I bid for the “Mona Lisa”

Ok. Fine. $200.

How much am I bid for this version of the “Mona Lisa” using a baboon model?

Ok. $100Million feels like a fair opening offer.

Timmy: Mommy can we go to the zoo?
Mommy: To see what?
Timmy: I see your point. I think they have some old videos of monkeys on Youtube.

God: Whoa, how did you get up here in heaven…a monkey?

Monkey: I want to be a fireman

God: Sigh.


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