New Year’s Afternoon Party at Work

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Is that monkey a registered notary public?
How did that chicken get a level-one security clearance?
I didn’t know a hamster knew how to operate laser eye surgery equipment.

What did cavemen do for porn before the internet?
Is that you Bob Cratchit?
I miss the postage stamps you had to lick.

If cell phones could read our minds we could waste less time thinking.
I don’t know why those crab cakes are on the floor.

Say Evelyn, did Dave show you the snow globe in his man purse?

The small talk at the New Year’s Eve party was getting smaller and smaller.

Eventually, the conversation proceeded to the sub-atomic level and I was able
to completely ignore it.

Dave: Did you want to see my man purse?