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Although not an actual Devil Worshipper per se,
I do try to emulate and pattern my life after the teachings
of the Underwood Deviled Ham Devil.
This isn’t always easy in today’s society.
Where we are both judged by the company we keep,
our level of devil worship,
and our annual consumption of Deviled Ham.
Why would you give a woodpecker all your money?
Why wouldn’t you if he had a gun?
The Deviled Ham Worshippers built Stonehenge.
They also built Noah’s Ark and the Great Wall of China.
Seems like they were always building something.
However, the thing they failed to build was a bridge
of mutual trust and understanding
among the non-Deviled Ham Worshippers.
Dave to leader of Deviled Ham Worshippers:
“When are we going to build that bridge?”
Leader Deviled Ham Worshippers:
“We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”
“Do you have $20? I’d like to get some gum.”
Dave: “The woodpecker took all my money.”