Professional Portfolio

Some highlights from 10-years of work as a full time writer/graphic designer/cartoonist before becoming an electrical engineer.


spider house

I’m building a spider house
brick by brick
shingle by shingle
when the spiders move in
some will sit on couches
and watch
the weather channel
or the spider channel
others will read books
in quiet corners
there are webs in the kitchen
I’m building a spider house
blood drips from the walls
one spider asks for a napkin
so he can dab the blood
off the corner of his mouth
a small dog wearing a sweater
sits in his lap
and plays the banjo



Cotton Candy Land

Sometimes when I’m down
I put on my bright pink sweater
and I go to Cotton Candy Land.
And I just sit there
And repeatedly sing myself
the “Happy Birthday Song”


Hey you!!!
You’ve been in that stall for over 2 hours!!!
You’re not the only one who has to use the Men’s Room!!


“Hah! Good one.”




So I had a bunch of “guests”
let’s call them “friends”
over to watch the Rose Bowl Parade
on New Year’s Day
“One” went to the freezer and opened it.
The freezer was full with Lima Beans
and said: “Oh, you have nothing to eat.”
I escorted him from the premises.
Everyone knows in bodybuilding if you want
to build big forearms you eat Lima Beans.

My humble 17″ forearm…

I couldn’t afford to have some “loser” sucking
oxygen in my apartment when there where others
interested in developing formidable forearms
for the New Year.
There’s a reason the Capital of Peru
is called “Lima”.
It’s because they have the biggest freakin’
forearms in South America.
Later that day we each placed a Lima Bean
on his grave after a good forearm workout.

Actual, guy that worked for me from Lima Peru.
Note size of forearms.
Still trains at my old gym.

Tarzan and Cheeta’s Shiny New Year

Tarzan: I love you Cheeta?!!
Cheeta: Too much information!!!
Tarzan: I need a Red Bull.
Cheeta: Is that love as is a man’s love towards his chimpanzee?
Or platonic love.
Tarzan: Is that platonic love as in Plate Tectonics love?

Cheeta: Yes.
Tarzan:  Yes.
Cheeta: Red Bull for all!!!
Happy New Year!!!!


Baby New Year

It was the New Year
and the air was filled
with positivity.
New Year’s Eve
had been a huge success.
After 17 glasses of champagne
we had woken up naked
in the zoo.
Jim still asleep,
was dressed as the Baby New Year.
We had successfully shaved a bear.

Without waking Jim we covered
him with honey.
Now he was the bear’s problem.
We went to IHOPs.