I overdosed on you


I completed my twelve-step program

but on the13th step I stumbled

guess that’s how the cookie crumbles

she said look what the cat dragged in

there’s no point in you fighting

your addition to me boy

shall we begin?


unstop my bottle

let out the genie

like the garment cut?

butt floss bikini

view from above

better from beneath

don’t forget to

floss your teeth

now I’m dressed

in my Sunday best

like my birthday suit?

any requests?


I made a list

but if I overdose

you know what to do?


She: sure

follow the list


Your Guide to Modern Sex-Speak


She said she was interested

in a friend with benefits situation.

I told her my work covered both medical and dental.

She said she wanted sex no strings attached.

Which it too bad because I was planning on paddling her with my

paddle that has a little red ball attached with an elastic string.

Her loss.

Then she told me she wanted me to make her girl squirt.

Great. When I returned the paddle ball to the toy store I also returned

the girl squirt gun I had purchased for her.

Please, make up your mind!!!

She said she wanted me to give her a wrap-around hobo-riding-a-donkey job.

I still have no idea what she was talking about.

The hobo is now gainfully employed and rides his donkey up Wall Street

every morning to his office.

I complimented her on her camel toe

as we rode off together into the desert.