Piranha Poem Redux


I walk from my apartment

to get a cheese omelette

for  breakfast

the lake freezes solid

protecting the baby piranha

from the stomping boots

of my marching band practice

I play the tuba

God sends an angel

she dances on the ice

her ballet shoes

filled with dynamite

she takes them to fish heaven

the kitten has moxie



home sweet home





All My Friends are Ghosts



Though it’s hard to choose one

I’ll tell about my favorite place in Italy

Venice. For this reason…

It’s a city of stone and masonry built upon

a million tree trunks pile driven into the lagoon

It doesn’t even make sense that such city exists.

Which makes being there…magical.

You can place an idea like a kitten

in a cardboard box and hope

it shows up on Christmas morning

but even if you’re lucky you get it right once a year.

You can see tomorrow coming

It’s in your rear view mirror

How did that happen?

One day you want something

And then it’s already behind you

Life’s magic the magician’s

white gloved hands distracts us

to perform the trick

one thing I have observed

is that with every passing day

all of us are dying

but very few are living

Life is short

Which makes being here…magical.

All my friends are ghosts.



Turn up Your Life



so I decided to turn up my life

you know those 2 knobs

the one to the right

sticks out just a little

well I gave it a tweak

turned up the volume

of the glorious melody of existence

Trump: Sounds like you got played son.

Me: Tickled my ivories so to speak?

I don’t think so.

Maybe I wanted them tickled.

That’s just being part of the musical score of living.

Trump: I could learn a lot from you.

Me: Like how to run a country.

Trump: Yes.

Me: She remains as forever… anvilicious.

But I still don’t have her number.

Anderson Cooper: So after all this you still have an interest.

Me: You have to ask?


Girl Metal


Me: So you play metal?

She: No we play girl metal

Me: How cute.

She: Indeed.



She: Meet the new boss same as the old boss.

Me: Got it boss.

Pope Francis: Well, I’m done delivering Christmas Mass. Who’s up for some girl metal?

God: From LA to Tokyo… girls are playing death metal.

For the first time in my life…I’m proud to be God.

Same Day Different Life



I drove my hovercraft to the Bar Mitzvah

Tarzan and Cheetah were guest speakers.

They talked about the roll bananas played in friendships.

On the way there they got a flat tire.

We learned a lot from this.

Later Jim offered Cindy a banana.

She slapped him and  left with Cheetah

Swipe right.

In the background someone was playing “Snake Music”

the kind they play at hamster funerals

and in New Orleans

Tarzan tried parallel park my hovercraft and knocked

the house off its foundation.

this came out of his speaker’s fee

Popeye sat at the Last Supper Dinner table with his head stuck in a can of spinach.

Sweet Pea: Not again.

Batman: I hate it when this happens. Hey look bananas.




Sometimes when I can’t find something I think,

maybe it’s lost.

I know the reasoning here is crazy,

it’s almost as if alien beings are controlling my mind

and guiding it to such a conclusion.

Or perhaps a circus bear.

When you can’t find something you may be tempted to think:

“Perhaps I misplaced it.”

I on the other hand am betting it’s lost.

Again, if you “misplaced” your car keys

would you try to take them back from the circus bear?

Or would you concede they are “lost” and just get a new set of car key?

How about you see a mind-controlling alien.

Just standing there tossing your keys up and catching them in his hand.

With a come-and-get-your-keys look in his eye.

And a probe.

Any kind of probe.

Again, I think you are better off considering these keys “lost.”

Now your car keys are simply between the cushions of the couch.

But between you and the couch are:

A circus bear.

An alien with a probe.

And dinosaur robot with sharp teeth.

Where did this new guy come from?

Again, lost.

You are sitting in a pumpkin patch waiting for the Great Pumpkin

at some point wouldn’t it be better to just get a spare pair of car keys made?