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Avoid peeing in the pool
if you are not wearing swim trunks.
This will likely drawn unwanted attention.
Well, unwanted in most cases.
Wanted I suppose if that was your purpose.
Have you ever noticed that all songs
about monkeys are life affirming.
Well, except maybe that one about the monkey who kills everyone.
Are you happy?
If you have any hesitancy in answering this question,
you may need to ask yourself would you be happier
if you had a tiny toy gun?
Sometimes a tiny toy gun, say one about the size that you could conveniently put it on a key chain can make all the difference.
That or a real gun with really, really big bullets.
Think of others besides yourself.
When the guy in the bathroom stall is yelling:
“Hey there’s no toilette paper in here.”
Turn off the light.
No one wants to see this guy yelling.
When in doubt I would treat the unidentified object
moving toward you as King Kong.
Depending on who you talk to King Kong typically gets either
all the credit or all the blame in such situations.