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Oh great, it’s time for my weekly one-on-one with my boss.
It pretty much consists of him just quoting and misquoting a bunch
of business or other clichés that pass as “boss-speak.”
My Boss: Work smarter not harder
Me: Why don’t we work stupid and lazy?
Well,…I guess we can’t all be on the CEO track.
My Boss: Follow your passion
Me: What if my passion is killing you?
Boss: You’ve got to stop beating yourself up.
Me: Actually, I brought this baseball bat for you,
so I could follow my passion.
Boss: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade
Me: My impression was you made some kind of mixed drink
with alcohol in it. Did someone give you lemons this morning?
Boss: People are our greatest asset.
Me: Does that explain your hoarding rolls of toilette paper from
the men’s room behind your desk?
Boss: It’s a game changer
Me: You mean like switching from the Superbowl to The Wheel
of Fortune during half time at your house and thinking that nobody
Boss: Was the “All Hands Meeting a Spelling Bee?”
Me: No, everyone but you just used a spell checker on their
Boss: I was just talking out load.
Me: Perhaps listening to the voices in your head?
Boss: Did you say there was lemonade?