all roads lead to nowhere


I steer you break

I veer you make

meaningless adjustments

riding down the road

to nowhere


your map’s no good

collapse enjoy the ride you should

forget your meaningless directions

on our one way trip

to nowhere


I speed at night

with the lights turned off and

my eyes closed tight because all

roads lead equally

to nowhere


Manifest Destiny

Girl’s name was Destiny
Manifest Destiny

and Manifest Destiny she was…

and I ain’t not talkin’ ’bout no
manifest like some kind
of ship’s cargo document
I’m talkin’ Manifest Destiny
as in take over the mother-fuckin’
god damn United States
and at the current moment
as she straddled my continent
she was taking over my heart

window shopping
makes me think
firecracker popping
makes me think
4th of July

5-foot seventeen
in 4-inch stilettos
puts a bustle
in my hedge row
in my favorite
Las Vegas casino

I’ll take a Manhattan
with an extra cherry
go hard on her cherry

She’ girl messiah
She’s girl piranha
biting, biting, always biting
barbed wire dental floss
she’s barbed wire mental floss

the filthy filly bites
hard the bridle
is truly only happy when
she’s making me suicidal

stirrups, purr ups
when petting her kitten.
She: I have a naughty kitten
Me: I could drink your milkshake?
She said: I need thunder puppy
God: Reverse cowgirl?
She said: I am a true believer
Of the one and only true religion

sometimes I think about her
think about her before work
think about her before work in the shower

when I look at her
I wish I was the scientist
who invented x-ray vision
x-ray vision that stops right
after the clothes if you
know what I mean

she rolled around
as she was well-oiled
I had to take the batteries
out of my smoke detector
because of all the sparks

she said she wanted
both the steak
and the sizzle
with extra sizzle
but I wanted to give
her extra steak as well

she moves
her body
like fire
in slow motion
like fire
that dances
so slowly you
want to touch it
touch so bad
you don’t care
if you are burned
by the heat
of her fire

when I was young
I was told that
if I did it too often
I would go blind
still I just can’t stop
looking at her

Be sure to visit out latest blog…

“Your Suicide King”




uptown Oaktown
2 Lincoln Continentals
of Eastern European crazies
by morning someone will be
pushing up the daisies

Katarina’s in heat
but she’ll have to wait
until morning for
her love date
if I’m still alive

through the MacArthur Maze
up into the Oakland Hills
my God that f*cker’s Craze
Zee with a capital Z

serial code’s filed
off the gun
Saturday night special
when it’s time for
God’s hit-and-run

brass full of fist
you’ll know when
you have been kissed

when your teeth are tumbling
like dice across the table
in front of everyone

the judge and the jury
are playing the executioner’s song

death metal with an AK-47
something tells me nobody’s
going to heaven

but I rise
with the sunrise
in Oaktown
when my love
going down


something wicked this way comes


I am the Ezekiel wind
I am the Prodigal son
I am he cat with 10 lives
I am the Mother
of all Mother-F*ckers
I am the one
and when you’re in heat
I’ll bring the heat
you can load
and unload my gun
and when you’re feeling
unloved and unruly
I’ll tattoo your world
and sign it
from yours truly
because you are the one
by the pricking of my thumbs
something wicked this way comes

She: You better Daddy…

big bang theory


put your hamster
in my hamper
in New Hampshire
understand what I’m sayin?
buy your cricket
a round-trip ticket
to Amsterdam
but he won’t be coming
know what I mean?
you can hold the allure
over pussy
of a catnip mouse
tap, tap, tap
with her kitty paw
and pause
she negotiating
with Santa Claus
before she grabs
the whole damn mouse
in her mouth
and runs across
the house
and does the mouse
under the bed
we’re talking cats and woman
I gave girl gunslinger
my middle finger
and she road it
like a pogo stick
nearly all night long
she… woman apple pie on my fingers
she… her taste still lingers
she… I need a la mode
tell me ’bout your big bang theory
and then f*ckin’ explode



gone feral


good morning


good morning

morning rose

dew on your petal

drop of quicksilver

she’s my precious metal

when I slip my finger

on to the trigger

of her pistol

when her kitten’s gone feral

her hand’s on my barrel

she knows how to whistle

she just put her lips

together and blows


scorched earth



yes, she…

she wore that skin tight little black dress

made me think

scorched earth

when she walked in those long, lean legs

there was high heels everywhere

cartoon eyes and heart

popping in out of my skull and chest

I definitely had cartoon eyes for this girl

and at this point I was definitely not James Bonding the situation

Miss Money Penney: The boy is tiddly winkers. Positively tiddly winkers.

she was so Icarus

flight of Icarus sexy

when she flew too close to the sun

and her wax wing melted

I would catch her in my arms

Geppetto: Well son, you’re a real boy now. Is she a real girl?

Pinocchia me: See’s a real woman Dad.

she’s a come-hither girl

in her come-hither world

Me: Come on just a little peak at that new tattoo

She: Lookey-loo. Enjoy the site of the accident boy

Me: Tight. So tight.

She: No bumper stickers on this Ferrari

Me: Scorched earth!