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I decided to start trying my potential Halloween outfits out early this year, so on Ground Hog’s Day
I went to church dressed as a zombie.
The Priest met me with a sawed-off shotgun and said:
“Have you met God? Would you like to meet him?!!”
Me: You bet!
The next thing I know is I’m up in Heaven and there’s God rolling a 50-foot donut down the road….
using a stick like the children playing in the 1880’s.
I couldn’t believe my eyes.
That God was rolling such a big donut down the road.
Such a big donut without “sprinkles.”
(Yes, Santa Claus is God.)
Later, at orientation he asked if I would like a piece of his “road donut.”
Me to self: Jesus, what is wrong with this guy?
Me politely to God: No thank you sir, I prefer “sprinkles.”
God pulled out his magic fairy wand waiving it and transforming the 50-foot “non-sprinkled” donut
into a million donut holes.
He smiled and nodded at me.
I smiled and nodded back at God.
Me to self: Jesus, what is wrong with this guy’s hearing?
I don’t know if that monkey can pilot a dirigible.
I opened my little music box and noticed that the ballerina had broken during the flight from Earth.
Yes…..Heaven was truly turning out to be Hell.