The Duck Boss


It was announced that the new boss was a duck.
Jim rolled his eyes.
Cheryl quacked.

When the new duck boss was introduced he called a meeting of all employees.
He quacked.
He quacked.
And the he quacked some more.

Then he showed us a Powerpoint presentation that showed him mostly floating in a pond.
There was also a slide of a mud hen in the same pond.

After the presentation he quacked.

As we got up and began to exit the room he stood at the door and quacked.

Jesus Christ!! What an ego!!!!!!

Turtle Day at Work


I’ll never forget the day
we had a turtle at work.

Man, that was something.

Then he got tipped over
and just lay there on his back

Man, that was something.

We now employ a fulltime turtle tipper
to make sure that doesn’t happen again.

Of course, we also passed a policy banning
turtles from ever entering the office.

Still, I suppose things work out for the best,

because in accounting we just hired a tortoise.

The Firecracker Explody


it was the firecracker explody

The Snake Pope: Do firecrackers usually pop when put in water

Me: This one does when she gets wet


my mind throttled

was wound tighter

by the hour

even her shadow

was star spangled

in the warrior night

she wore many smiles

now these things

are plain to see

her skirt was way

too tight that day

in her smile was

a spark she used

to light the hour


don’t mind if I do bar-b-q

I like salmon

If she were a fish

I’d wrap her in shiny foil

and slap her on the grill

but she’s not a fish so I just going to let her

lay there naked