Woodland Parable



If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it,

does it make a sound?

Does a bear shit in the woods?

If a tree falls on a bear taking a shit in the  woods

I’m pretty damn sure it makes a sound.

So is the existence of a bear and shit a requirement for sound?

Well, perhaps based on some of the music I hear on the radio today.

What if the bear were wearing ear plugs when he was

taking a shit

when the tree fell on him?

He wouldn’t hear any of this, so would it make a sound?

Going back to our original premise,

if he were wearing earplugs,

got hit by a tree,

was yelling at the top of his bear lungs,

while covered with shit,

would it  make a sound?

Yes, stupid it makes a sound.

I’m volunteering you to clean up all these trees and bear shit.


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