Crazy Eye

crazyeye

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I love this symbol on medicine bottles.

“May make you drowsy.”

With crazy eye.

It looks like it may make you a lot more than drowsy.

It provides the perfect excuse for all my aberrant behavior.

I had a prescription filled quite some time ago

and it came in a bottle with “crazy eye.”

Now I carry it around filled with Tick Tacks in my pocket

and when I do something inappropriate,

I pull out my medicine and say:

“Sorry, crazy eye made me do it.”

No one’s going to argue with this,

because of its medical legitimacy.

No matter what I do.

The other day I showed up at a meeting

with a turtle duct taped to my head.

I pretended to be a combat soldier.

When some guy took away the baby raccoon

I was holding I just said:

“Sorry, crazy eye made me do it.”

A  badger and a bobcat were holding up a bank with a water balloon.

I walked up  and popped their  water balloon.

They started to cry.

Everyone in the bank gave me a dirty look.

(I think they were also giving a dirty look to my baby raccoon.)

Unforgivable!

This time I got up on the bank counter

and started pounding my chest like Tarzan.

Me:”Crazzzzzzzzzzzy Eyyyyyyyyyyye!!!!”

Then I pulled out my bottle with my medicine.

I felt a lot better.

Now I’m standing on the counter at the ice cream shop

ordering 31 scoops of the 31 flavors for my cone.

Again, I start pounding on my chest like Tarzan.

Now I’m putting on a pair of pants.

Actually, the cop is making me put on a pair of pants.

Me:”Crazzzzzzzzzzzy Eyyyyyyyyyyye!!!!”

Now I’m in handcuffs and being placed in the police car.

Now I’m testifying before a federal judge on drug trafficking charges.

Now I’m serving 10 years in a Pelican Bay with a monkey.

Mr. Chimp: What are you in for?

Me:”Crazzzzzzzzzzzy Eyyyyyyyyyyye!!!!”

 

 

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