Time Heals the Banana

emonkey

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Throughout the history of business it has become necessary to regularly come up with nonsensical,

but authoritative blitherings to enable meeting avoidance.

Example:

Potential Presidential Candidate Benedict Arnold: “So it’s agreed. We hold an all-day off site to determine if we write

the Declaration of Independence on white or off-white paper.”

Benjamin Franklin:”Good idea!” “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.”

And then Ben just walks away avoiding

the following all-day offsite.

He has just spoken complete gibberish, but delivered it authoritatively convincing people it must mean something

important and he obviously knows what’s he’s doing,

so they had better leave him alone.

New such nonsensical lines are needed on a regular basis.

Example today:

My boss (probable descendent of Benedict Arnold): “So it’s agreed. We hold an all-day off site to determine

if we print our user manuals with white or off-white paper.”

Me: ”Good idea!” “Time heals the banana.”

And then I just walk away skipping the all-day offsite.

The thing I like about this line as people try to plumb the depth of its meaning is that they may

even wonder if there is some kind of sexual reference or innuendo here, making it even less likely

that they will ask what it means.

Yet it’s not so explicit that they can go to HR and complain.

Further example:

Me walking home.

Some guy: “Oh my God, I think this monkey laying here

may have just drowned.

Does anyone know CPR?”

Me: ”Good idea!” “Time heals the banana.”

Paramedic: “Thank God a doctor! We’re putting you in charge.”

Me: “Pardon me I misspoke. What’s good for the goose

is good for the gander.”

Paramedic: “Oh my God, it’s Benedict Arnold!”

“Can you join us for an all-day off site to determine if we paint our ambulances white or off-white .”

Me: “What about the monkey.”

Paramedic: “We paint him off-white?”

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