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Whoa, how did I get in this “Water Park?
Some guy: The men’s room is not a “water park.”
Me: Well, not for you.
Guy: Hey, hey….this urinal is occupied.
You’re going all over my leg and pants.
Me: I care.
That’s the nice thing about “caring.”
Guy: What am I gonna tell all my friends about my pants being soaked in pee?
Me: Tell, them there was a line and you couldn’t hold it.
Guy: Thank you. Thank you so much for your help kind stranger.
Me: Get out of her “drippy” you’re ruining my “Water Park” experience.
Me: Does anyone object to me smoking a cigar?
Whiners: This is a smoke-free bathroom.
Me: Might I suggest you leave?
Good, no one sucking up my precious oxygen for my cigar.
Later, back at seats: Hey, “drippy”…how are the pants?
Guy: Thank God it’s you merciful stranger. Perhaps you can explain to them about
Me: Everything he says is true. Anyone mind if I smoke this “friendship” cigar?
His whiner group: This is a smoke-free ballpark.
Me: Have you checked your cars recently in the parking lot to ensure no acts of vandalism
have been committed against them?
Me: Ahhhh…good once again no one here to needlessly consume my oxygen.
My cat conscious: Got a cigar for me?
Me: I don’t see why not “Captain Fluffy.”
Captain Fluffy: Purrrr….