People are always saying, things would be better

if they just had some corn.

Bob: “I hate my job. No one appreciates me here.”

“Perhaps I could get a new job.”

“A new job where they had corn.”

Woman: “Does this dress make me look fat?”

Other woman: “The key to not looking fat is to accessorize.”

“Have you considered carrying a piece of corn tucked

under your arm?”

It makes me sick.

Everything can be solved with corn.

President: “Do we commence with the bombing.”

Duck: “You might want to reconsider that….that country has corn.”

President: “Good point. Send a dozen roses to their King.”

Neil Armstrong stranded alone on the moon

after his Apollo spaceship blew up.

Neil: “Well this sucks. I only have a 5 hour supply of oxygen,

but at least I have this corn.”

“Someone pass me that stick of butter.”

Corn this.

Corn that.

If I only had some corn, my life would have turned out differently.

Husband: “Hey, look that dog is humping that guy’s leg.”

Wife: “That reminds me..do we have any corn?”


“Hey, Jesus.”

“Hey, Moses.”

“Hey, Bob.”

“How is everybody on this glorious morning?”

“Has anyone seen my corn?”


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