Killer Kitten




Last night my kitten “accidentally” knocked the toaster

I had on the edge of the tub into the water nearly electrocuting me.

Fortunately, my hair did not catch on fire!


This morning when I fed her she rubbed against my leg.

Fortunately, my leg did not catch on fire!


The other day when I was watching TV

she jumped up in my lap and started to purr.

When she got up I was covered in cat fur.

Fortunately, I did not catch on fire!


Today she is playing with a wadded up piece of newspaper

and a catnip mouse.

I’m tip-toeing around from room to room with a fire extinguisher.


If I were God, I would ask her if she heard voices.

She would reply:”All the time. Especially that guy that puts

the cat food down and says come and get it kitty.”


She’s tough as nails.

She’s Marine tough.

She’s Devil Dog tough.

When I serve her tuna

she got the “1000 yard” stare.

She’ll never crack under God’s questioning.

I’m proud of her.

There she goes now

with her flamethrower.


That’s why I love her.


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