Monkey Skydiving Mishaps



It proved to be a huge mistake when I took my monkey sky diving

1st, he forgot his parachute.
2nd, as there were no spare parachutes I had to lend him mine
3rd, when I jumped out I left the bananas in the plane.


imagine many years after all the coffins and bodies in a cemetery
have turned to dust you as a kid dig this all out underground
creating a series of interconnected underground tunnels
which your parents lock you in for 10 years

I hate when that happens

This goldfish is probably more orange than gold.
The Golden Gate Bridge is actually really off-red.
Hummingbirds to save their lives can not hum a tune.
And some Grizzly Bears actually make a sound more like a woodpecker
Proving we have bigger problems than  “fake news.”


My Dad: Tell the truth son. It’s easier to remember.

Such gems of wisdom from my father would eventually make one of the most respected men on death row.


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