Random Acts of Stupidity


I decided to commit some  random act of kindness.

Then it dawned on me.

Everyone was committing random acts of kindness.

And it was making us “soft.”

And “boring.”

So, I compromised and decided to commit some random acts of “stupidity”

When I got out of the shower I decided to dry my genitals in the toaster.

That was a mistake as being wet caused me to get a bit electrocuted down there.

Now here’s the stupid part.

I shorted out the toaster

One day after its warranty expired.

Man, was that stupid.


I had a bunch of bumper stickers left over from elections a few years back that said…

“Four More Years!”

I placed then on the bumpers of all the people I hate.

I figured this would make them more popular to be associated with a winner.

Man, did their cars get heavily vandalized.


At the supermarket, unattended shopping carts provide a good opportunity to slip

in items that may cause embarrassment.

Concentrate on Preparation-H and condoms.


At the airport, I set off the metal detector because I had a roll of quarters in my pocket

that I used to impress women.


What else?

Oh yeah…

At church when it came time to eat the body of Christ and drink his blood,

I swapped the wafers with Pringles to help stop the spread of cannibalism.




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