CLICK ON IMAGE TO ENLARGE
I decided to commit some random act of kindness.
Then it dawned on me.
Everyone was committing random acts of kindness.
And it was making us “soft.”
So, I compromised and decided to commit some random acts of “stupidity”
When I got out of the shower I decided to dry my genitals in the toaster.
That was a mistake as being wet caused me to get a bit electrocuted down there.
Now here’s the stupid part.
I shorted out the toaster
One day after its warranty expired.
Man, was that stupid.
I had a bunch of bumper stickers left over from elections a few years back that said…
“Four More Years!”
I placed then on the bumpers of all the people I hate.
I figured this would make them more popular to be associated with a winner.
Man, did their cars get heavily vandalized.
At the supermarket, unattended shopping carts provide a good opportunity to slip
in items that may cause embarrassment.
Concentrate on Preparation-H and condoms.
At the airport, I set off the metal detector because I had a roll of quarters in my pocket
that I used to impress women.
At church when it came time to eat the body of Christ and drink his blood,
I swapped the wafers with Pringles to help stop the spread of cannibalism.