My Shark Bitey


Me: Love boat karaoke. SS Minnow-style little buddy.

Judge: So, you admit to being naked in that night club?

Me: Sideways Sponge Bob Dali Lama.

DA: So everybody had a tattoo but you?

Me: Don’t tread on me. Hula hoop orgy. Ed Sullivan.

Ex-President Obama: So, you’re saying a Henna hair dye would cover up the white?

Me: Lefty-loosey. Righty-tighty.

Good God all mighty.

Might makes right…

Kiss the snake good nighty.

Nighty-night. Nighty.

Meet my shark his name’s Bitey

Obama: So, they would have that color at Walmart?

That is righty.


Uncle Matt KIA

I’ve spent my entire life sharpening my bullets
like row upon row upon row of metal teeth
that are shed when the shark is biting
riding the night sky lightening
lighting the night sky writing
God’s hand is forced
to sign his own name

regarding all unsettled business
the Devil’s keeping score
and I will see you when I see you

God is riding shotgun
I’m riding God’s shotgun


Bitey: Besides eating fish, seals, and humans I like cheese.


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