The Easter Bunny’s Bucket List

  1. Get out of pastel egg business. Is embarrassing and makes difficult to meet woman bunnies.
  2. Outsource dying of all toxic and poisonous eggs to 3rd world country
  3. Look into cost structure advantage of laying off all egg dyers in US and contracting out to unemployed elves in North Pole.
  4. Shut down division making exploding Easter Bonnets. Bad idea.
  5. Hire more undocumented baby chicks by lying to them about providing healthcare.
  6. Order 1 million chocolate Easter Bunny boxes that say “100% solid chocolate.” Order 1 million hollow chocolate Easter Bunnies.
  7. Consult Santa’s naughty and nice list. “Friend” naughty women over 18 on Facebook.
  8. Take down Easter tree and lights before end of July August September. Bad idea.
  9. Return yellow marsh mellow “Peeps” took from Vatican when drunk.
  10. Kill arch enemy Santa Claus.
  11. Humiliate arch enemy Santa Claus on Social Media.


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