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It seemed like everyone I knew was “taking time for themself.”
So, being a free-spirit who always follows the free-spirit crowd,
I decided to “take time for myself.”
A mother: Oh, my God! Save my baby from that burning building!
Me: This green tea is very relaxing.
Secret Service Agent: Somebody do something before the President explodes.
Me: This recording of ocean waves makes me feel like I’m floating during this pedicure.
God: If we can’t get rid of this candy corn there will be no room left in heaven for angels!!!
Me: When I smell this vanilla candle I can feel my soul healing.
Me to plumber: So, the clog was caused by candy corn and a vanilla candle?
Is there any way to keep all the toilettes from flooding the house simultaneously?
Plumber: Do you mind?!! I’m listening to Gregorian Chants. It’s me time.