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I wore green pants, a green shirt, green socks, a green hat,
and dyed my hair green, but I still got pinched
for St. Patrick’s Day at work.
They said I missed the point of going “green” for St Patrick Day.
That I should be driving a hybrid to work or something.
I don’t know about you, but I take all this green stuff very seriously.
They say that disposable diapers take a million years to decompose in the landfill.
Good thing I wont be here, so it’s not my problem.
And they want me to reduce my “carbon footprint.”
That’s probably because I wear size 23 clown shoes.
I’m not sure how to reduce that footprint,
but I bought a pair of green clown shoes.
Still even after adopting all these “green” practices,
my co-workers continue to pinch me.
Personally, I think they are “green” with envy.
Because of my green penis.
I spent all of last night laying in a bathtub filled with green dye,
like a giant Easter Egg.
So my whole body is green.
And that dye wears off real slowly,
so I’m pretty much ready for the next holiday…
When I can show up at work as a giant naked green Easter Egg.
Sometimes life couldn’t be more perfect.