The Illiterate Executive

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I was proud.
Proud that I was illiterate
and unable to form a functional sentence.
Proud that speaking and communication came
to me like an earth worm squirming on a sidewalk
after the rain. I nodded a lot in agreement
with people that I was sub-human in my ability
to carry on a meaningful conversation. A dog
licking his privates was like me trying to deliver
the Gettysburg  Address. Too bad I can’t
proof- read anything that I had my brilliant,
super-genius assistant Gwen transcribe, as I can neither
type nor read. Gwen can you please read back
what I have just dictated to you.  You are
a genius. I cannot dress myself in the morning.

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