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I noticed I was on fire,
so I walked into a fire station.
The clerk behind the counter was helpful enough.
Clerk: Are you a residential dwelling?
Clerk: Are you a commericial building?
Clerk: Are you a church or otherwise place of worship?
Clerk: OK, can you please join the others and fill out this form?
I took the form and turned to take a seat, but there were about a dozen
other people already filling out forms ahead of me who were on fire.
I started to fill out the form, but as I looked around at the other people
on fire I felt that there was something not quite right.
I expected more of America
And in minutes I was on the phone with the President.
Within minutes men arrived in tanks
with long pointy sticks and hotdogs.
There were also some special forces members with long pointy sticks with marshmellows
on the end of them for those who ate their hotdogs.