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So it was the New Year.
And there was some guy on TV talking about New Year’s resolutions.
He was talking about exercise.
He said people could lose even more weight if they were to exercise naked
as this would cause their body to shiver, thus burning more calories.
It was the stupidest thing I ever heard.
Then I thought maybe I should ask my brain and see what he thought.
So I took off his dust cover and asked my brain.
Such advice actually made sense for women as they were more prone to get cold faster than men,
thus shivering sooner and burning more calories, especially if they exercised naked in front of their
big picture window that I walk by with the curtains fully open.
This was sound advice.
Then I forced my brain against his will to consider the male case.
Most men, unlike women who like to exercise naked in front of their big picture windows
with the curtains fully open, prefer to go to the gym.
If I saw a guy exercising naked at the gym
I would probably start running, screaming to get the hell out of there.
Or at least until I got to the shotgun in my truck.
I suppose there might be some aerobic benefit to be gained here.
Now let’s consider the “Doomsday” scenario.
I myself am exercising naked at the gym.
Only God knows why.
I suddenly realize I’m naked and start running, screaming to get the hell out of there.
My naked running, screaming triggering a similar running, screaming to get the hell out
of there chain reaction among all the gym patrons.
Aerobics for everyone.
If you call that winning….
What could be worse?
I guess that after all that naked running, screaming I ended up in this church.
“Hey, how’s it going? Nice hat.”
“Say, you wouldn’t happen to have a towel or spare pair of pants?”
“A handkerchief with the likeness of Presidential candidate on it?”
“Perhaps a pinata?”
Oh the humanity.