One Nation Underdog


I never understood this line as a kid in our “Pledge of Allegiance”,

when reciting it in class at the start of the day.

“One nation Underdog…”

The cartoon character Underdog had many admirable attributes,

such as his devotion to “Sweet Polly Purebread.”

Still, it seems odd that we would all pledge allegiance

to a cartoon character at the start of the day.

It’s not as though he had invented plumbing or discovered a cure for farting?

Not as far as I know, but then again I don’t listen to National Public Radio.

I don’t waste my time.

The polite and correct thing to do for such things, as it typically is for most things

in life that you don’t understand is to just nod your head and smile.

Take for example a dog humping some guy’s leg.

Hopefully, not Underdog.

Or when that guy took off his pants and lit them on fire in church.

And when the police ask him to explain he scoffs and replies:

“Have you ever seen a dog humping a guy’s leg not wearing pants?!”

You know I think a dog probably would,

but I don’t file my observations of dog humping legs experiences

in a permanent part of my brain.

Again, hopefully not Underdog.

The best thing to do in such situations…

Just nod your head and smile.

A monkey with a t-shirt gun at a sporting event can cause

a lot of damage, but were he not to be “manning” the t-shirt gun

it could be viewed as “monkey profiling.”

Yes. Trump doesn’t care.

But the “press” lives and basically exists for this kind of thing.

Former President O’bama: Even I don’t give a crap about a monkey’s right

to man a t-shirt gun at a sporting event. We have more important things to deal

with can’t we please just move on?

Press: So, what you are saying is that Trump is a monkey-a-phobe???

Obama: Don’t know what that “made-up” term means, but “No.”

Look, I don’t necessarily like a lot of things right now myself,

but if your game plan is to fuck-over the United State and….

yes….(silent cringe…) the elected President….your ideas and efforts

are misguided.

Press: So, what you are saying is Trump intends to discriminate against monkey’s

for 4 years.

Obama: Sigh.


Hello, President Trump…perhaps we could talk.


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