Wild Goose Chase

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Everyone said it was a “wild goose chase.”

I looked at my pet goose Ted who was sitting in his

captain’s chair reading the Wall Street Journal.

Me: Ted? Was it a wild goose chase?

Ted: Honk!

Me to self: Just as I had suspected. Hearsay and gossip.

It was like the rumors about Gilligan and the Skipper

sharing a hut together instead of sharing a hut

with Marianne and the Movie Star.

Normal.

Completely normal.

That’s when the study’s door burst open and Ted was nearly

knocked out of his captain’s chair by a naked goose

running at full speed carrying a ham like a football.

Hot on his heels were the fox hounds.

Perhaps it was a wild goose chase.

The Skipper and Gilligan came in and each took a seat

in a plush burgundy chair.

The Skipper slowly, through clenched teeth:

You know Little Buddy if you were to move in with Marianne and let the Ginger

move in with me your monkey friends might stop teasing you so much.

Gilligan: I want to move in with Mrs. Howell.

Ted the goose: Dibs on Marianne. Honk!

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