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One time I ran out of dog food,
so I fed my dog cat food for a month,
since my cat had died.
I felt good
and proud to be an American
I got rid of all that cat food.
and didn’t waste any of it
or have to throw it away.
And at the same time I was able
to completely screw over my dog.
It felt good to be proud and I was proud
that I felt good.
Later in hell I received a Christmas card
from my dog.