Communing with Nature

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Traffic was heavy as usual.

 

I looked at a bear sitting next to me in the passenger seat.

He had spilled his coffee all over himself like he did every morning.

Me:”Oh, Christ bear aren’t you supposed to do that in the woods?!

Why didn’t you say something when we passed that gas station?”

 

 

Porcupine was in the left back seat.

Great, he had just spilled his coffee over himself and was proceeding

to move about and shread the back seat I had just had reupholstered.

Me: ”Oh,Christ porcupine. You too? We just passed a gas station.

Someone roll down a window.”

 

 

Squirrel ran across the dashboard glancing off my bobble head Jesus

and making his head nod up and down.

Me: “Squirrel, please show some respect for the Lord.”

 

Skunk was in the right left seat.

Me: “Skunk did you just spray.”

Skunk…no comment.

Both bear and porcupine nodded and lit a match.

 

We still had to pick up moose.

 

Me:

“What?

Commuting with nature.

Commuting.

What?

The word is communing?

What’s that?”

 

Me pulling sharply to the curb:

“OK, everybody get the hell out!”

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