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I get tired of everyone blaming Popeye
for everything wrong in the world.
We’re dependent on Middle East Oil
because we need it to grow spinach for Popeye.
The huge Federal deficit is caused
from buying corncob pipes for Popeye.
The worldwide sailor pants shortage
and global warming is all because of Popeye.
I get sick of it.
Look there’s Olive Oil and Sweat Pea now.
What are they doing to reduce the jobless rate.
Oh, Oh, it’s Wimpy eating a hamburger on Tuesday.
Nice that he has time to eat a burger,
while this government refuses to fund research
on flesh-eating bacteria.
I put down my bag of Pringles and looked out my 12th story window at the commotion in the streets below.
Crowds are rioting, turning cars over, and burning them.
A man with a piece of beef jerky in one hand,
is carrying a sign on a stick that I can just barely make out:
“Impeach President Popeye!”
Hmmm. I didn’t even know Popeye was President.
Don’t blame me I didn’t vote.
Maybe all this is his fault.
God damn you Popeye.
I curse you Popeye.
Or maybe it’s just my imagination.
Before I return to my bag of Pringles,
just to be on the safe side I drop a can of spinach
out the window on the crowd below.
Followed by the pouring of caldrons of moulten led.