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Yesterday the Sun blew up.
I’m sorry to have to inform you.
Especially if you slept in because it was still dark outside,
you were late for work, and were subsequently fired.
If on the other hand you are a night watchman,
you may not have noticed.
Again, I’m sorry to have to inform you if you are the kind
of person people tend to not tell things or trust with secrets.
As it was on the 5 o’clock news yesterday,
but not the late night news you may have missed the story.
The newspapers also didn’t carry anything about it today.
So, if you missed this news I am sorry to have to inform you.
If it is your day off and you are laying at the beach,
so you can work on your sun tan might I suggest you
do practically anything else. Well, anything else not
involving the Sun. I’m sorry to have to inform you if you
are not a detail-oriented person and the detail of the Sun
blowing up had escaped you.
Today the Moon blew up.
I’m sorry to have to inform you, especially if you had been planning to move to the moon, since the Sun blew up.