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She said she needed a “sensitive man.”
I started crying uncontrollably and said:
“You don’t know how long I have been waiting
to hear a woman say that…”
But my response was not having the effect that I had hoped for…
So, I stopped rolling around on the floor, got up, and put my clothes back on.
She: No, I mean a “sensitive man.”
So I started rummaging through her tool box
and found a shiny ball peen hammer.
I pulled out her family heirloom china
and started smashing the dishes with the ball peen hammer.
Me trying to be sensitive: “I’m going to miss those dishes.”
She: What are you crazy!
That was my mother’s ball peen hammer!
She: I need a “sensitive man.”
Me: You mean one who doesn’t fart in bed.
Me: One who doesn’t fart in bed and pull the blankets over your head?
She: A “sensitive man.”
Me: You mean a man who wears a loud Hawaiian Shirt
and sips a girly drink with a tiny colorful umbrella?
The New York Times Monkey Electric Interview
New York Times: Some would say your writings are deliberately stupid.
NYT: Err, yes.
Monkey: This interview is over!!!