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I went to a Super Bowl Party with some of my wife’s co-workers,
so I was on my best behavior.
When we were greeted at the door the hosts said:
“Make yourself at home.”
So I went in the kitchen wearing only my boxer shorts
and proceeded to drink out of the milk cartoon in the refrigerator.
(I also left the seat up on the toilette.)
People say the funniest things after they’ve had a glass of wine or two.
“How about putting on a pair of pants, asshole?!”
“You unholy bastard, that milk was meant
for the possum living under the porch!!”
“Who was the son-of-a-bitch who left the toilette seat up and didn’t flush?!”
All in all, this year I think I made a good impression
and thankfully didn’t do anything to embarrass my girl.
I thought as I slept on the couch.