Garage Sale




When I have a garage sale I usually put out a lot of signs

all around the neighborhood.

And at the bottom of the sign I write:

“Free Sex Toys.”


This always draws a lot of people.


I tell everyone they should have been there earlier all the sex toys are gone, but we have a lot of other good stuff they might like.


I show everyone my shrunken head collection

and serve lemonade.

Some guy with Maori tattoos cuts in line

to get the last stick of celery.

By early afternoon there few beverage coasters

not on the ground.


Most importantly I always want everyone to leave with a smile

on their face.


That’s why I have my wheelchair-bound grandmother dressed

in a clown suit at the end of the driveway.


She just sits there and repeats:


“So, did you get your free sex toy?”


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