Incomplete Idiot

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I used to think my boss was a complete idiot.

For years I thought he was a complete idiot.

But then one day I realized he was an incomplete idiot at best.

He couldn’t do a lot of things that the other idiots could do.

I watched as he sat with the other bosses who were complete idiots

and as he struggled to keep up.

One boss had stuck a pencil in his ear and was talking into a banana like it was a telephone.

Another boss was bouncing what he thought was a rubber ball

on the ground repeatedly.

It was his kidney.

My boss just sat there.

You could tell he wanted to put his banana up his nose,

but he just sat there with a garden hose in one hand

flooding the room.

It was like a connect-the-dot drawing with only one dot

and he couldn’t connect that single dot.

I actually felt sorry for him.

My urge to kill him momentarily went away.

Momentarily.

Finally, his boss who was a complete idiot walked up and shoved the banana  up his nose and stuck the hose in his ear.

“What’s for lunch waiter, I’m famished?”

Suddenly being incomplete didn’t seem so bad.

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