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Some people always know the right thing to say in any situation.
We often refer to such peeople as “leaders.”
Quite often your boss will refer to himself as a “leader.”
The word he is more likely looking for is “imbecile.”
Not being a boss, Bill was a “leader.”
He always knew the right thing to say in any situation.
And when the occasion required it:
When our boss would go through a very complicated, multi-faceted presentation about something that left the rest of us not knowing what to say, Bill would say:
“Is that a bird outside on the lawn?!”
Another time the big boss came in and said
he was proud of the work we were doing,
that he looked forward to our bright future together,
and if we didn’t improve our numbers by next week
we were all fired.
We all looked to Bill for guidance.
His response: “Is that a turtle outside on the lawn?!”
Bill always knew the right thing to say and because of that we looked up to him as our leader.
Then one day we ran out of snake poison.
The Sun blew up.
And we were invaded by monsters from under Amanda’s bed.
We turned to Bill for the right words to help us through this difficult situation.
Bill: “I’m sorry I was in the bathroom. Did I miss anything?”
Bill: “What the…is that a cat outside on the lawn?!”