Beezle Bob



Beelze Bob was our boss.


Every Monday morning he would hold his staff meeting

followed by his team building exercise,

after which he would crush our souls.


On Tuesdays he held our 1-on-1’s.

He would nail each of us to a cross and stick us

in the lunch room for the rest of the day.

I didn’t really understand how this was supposed to help me

with the work I had to do the rest of the week,

but then again I’m not a manager.

Then he would crush our souls.


On Wednesdays  he stood in the pit with his bullwhip

as we made cold calls.

Calling complete strangers and trying to sell them our souls.

We each had a quota on the number of souls we had to sell.

If we didn’t reach our quota he would crush our souls.


On Thursdays we presented PowerPoint slides.

No particular purpose or reason just like most PowerPoint slides.

Then he would crush our souls.


On Fridays we were always greeted by a big pink box

of donuts on the break table.

I would have a chocolate one with sprinkles.

Dan would have an old fashioned one…maple.

Andrea would have a simple glazed donut.

You know the type that are soft and squishy and glazed.

I never understood with so many different kinds of donuts to pick from, how a glazed donut could be someone’s favorite.

Then our boss Bob would come in and crush our souls.


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