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One day the smartest man alive died.
People came from miles around to hear him talk at his own funeral.
But he silent.
Because he was dead.
The people that came from miles around
were not the smartest men alive.
Or smartest women alive.
But they did like hotdog eating contests,
so after sitting there in silence for hours someone yelled:
“When does the hot dog eating contest begin?!”
The smartest man previously alive sat up in his coffin and said:
“Not until the mustard arrives.”
Then he laid down in his coffin and died again.
Everyone agreed that he indeed
had been the smartest man alive.
And cried and cried and cried.
Until the mustard arrived
and the hot dog eating contest began.