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The hike to bottom of the Grand Canyon
is a dangerous and arduous hike. It is a hike only
to be undertaken by the most advanced hikers and even
for the most advanced hiker it is a
hike to be taken seriously.
That’s why when I did the hike,
I did it with a bunch of circus clowns.
I nearly slipped and fell on the narrow trail.
A clown hiker quickly came to assist me
by hitting me in the face with a cream pie
Two-thirds of the way down exhaustion
was starting to take its toll and I had
lost my water bottle from the previous slip.
A clown hiker quickly came over providing me
with refreshment from his squirting lapel flower.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t water
it was soy sauce,
which did little to quench my thirst.
I was grateful it wasn’t squid ink
At this point I was feeling a bit faint
and in need of a little food pick me up.
A clown hiker pulled a rubber chicken
out of his pants and offered it to me.
This reminded me of that time in the
men’s room at the San Francisco Zoo.
I declined as before.
I stopped to wipe my brow and a clown hiker
quickly came over to pull out his handkerchief
for me to use. Unfortunately, it was one of those
endless handkerchiefs made up of multiple colors.
As he continued to pull endless yards of handkerchief
out of his coat the handkerchief wrapped around both
his and my leg. As I pushed him over the side, I cut
the handkerchief just before it could drag me along with him.
I felt good knowing he would be there to greet me at the bottom.
I pushed the clown with the rubber chicken in his pants
over as well, so he wouldn’t be lonely.
pet owner she…
knowing my affinity
for felines she stuck
her cat in my face
and told me
to kiss her kitty
I noticed the kitten
needed some tongue
lickity-split will make
that the firecracker pop
I didn’t bring
my grooming brush
not to worry
I won’t stop
until my tongue
and face are flush
God damn it!
This big promotion at work today may cut into my writing time.
Guess God needed to do something with that money.