Porcupine Petting Zoo



The word of mouth from the children and parents who visited to the

“Porcupine Petting Zoo” was not good.

The bus bench and billboard advertising campaign that we ran that showed zookeepers

crying with bleeding hands was also not creating the kind of  positive “buzz” we were hoping.

When the lady from the local news came to do a “fluff” piece on the porcupines,

she bent over with her microphone to pet one and poked herself in the eye.

From then on she became known as the “pirate news lady” because of her black eye patch.

(She also grew a beard and got a parrot for her shoulder.)

Things were not looking at all good.

That is until…





King Kong Neander-F*ck me:

Who wants  to go to the “Soul Kitchen?’

and ain’t talk ‘bout no food.

Good thing I got a picture of me and my imaginary friend in his chicken suit  at the

sailor parade to allay the doubt of undoubted naysayers.



Now we traveled back in time to Thursday at work.

My boss: Sigh. Do you do anything other than play on Word Press and surf porn?

Me: I never go on Word Press

Break over.


So, the baby porcupines at the porcupine petting zoo all grew up

And their babies’ babies’ babies’ had babies.


King Porcupine: Now that we have ruled the Earth for a 1000 years

I’m thinking about opening a “Human Petting Zoo.”




She can ride the unicorn in my petting zoo anytime she likes.






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