How to Respect your Boss: (New Year’s Tips)

evilboss

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Defer to his superior business judgment:

“Before I sit down…do you think there’s enough toilette paper

left on that toilette paper roll?

 

Ask your boss for advice based on his vast organizational knowledge:

“How long has this pot of coffee been sitting here?”

 

Be sure to take advantage of his unparalleled financial mind:

“Where is the best place around here to buy a hotdog?”

 

Learn from his deep analytical problem solving skills:

“Should I put the ice in the glass before the water or after?”

 

Use him as a mentor to develop your own technical prowess:

“Can you show me how to operate this paper clip?”

 

Turn to him as a sounding board for you own career:

“Kill me if I become like you?”

 

Command the respect of others by emulating his communication style:

“I am not engaged, nor have I ever been engaged to that duck!”

 

Recognize and acknowledge his strong people skills:

“Who is that naked person hiding in your car?”

 

Let him set an example for the group on decisive decision making:

“Are we going with the blue monkey or the orange monkey?”

 

Compliment him on any family photos he may have in his office:

“Clown family escapes from circus.”

 

Emulate his leadership style in your own meetings:

“OK. Who sat on my lunch?!

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3 responses to “How to Respect your Boss: (New Year’s Tips)

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