Peopling Skills

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If you’re like me and spend time with people there’s a good

chance they’re going to eventually open their mouths and

something’s going to come out.

This is when your listening-when-you-don’t-care skills

come into play.

“Whah, my brain is too small.”

Response:”Have you considered sharing your plight on reality TV?”

“I’m way too thin. Why can’t I just be fat like everyone else.”

Response:“You have a point, but at least you’ve just proven that you don’t

have to be thin for people to hate you.”

“Why don’t our pets have to work?”

Response: “I’m sure you dog has to work very hard to not bite you.”

“Now I lay me down to sleep…”

Caring father: “Give it a rest Jimmy, we both know you’re going to hell.”

Global Warming Prognosticator: “Look a bird.”

Debate Moderator: “Thanks for helping us cover that extended bathroom break.

Doubting Thomas Counterpart: “When will I get a chance to state correctly my position on the bird?”

Kermit the Frog: “Do you ever think a princess will kiss me and turn me from a frog into a prince?

The only female that’s interested in me is a pig.”

Big Bird: ”Welcome to life.”

“Now I lay me down to sleep…”

Big Bird: “Give it a rest Jimmy, we both know you’re going to hell.”

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