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This year I decided to celebrate Christmas Mass without monkeys.
Outside Christmas Mass I noticed the children had built a snowman.
They used 2 lumps of coal for eyes and a carrot for a nose.
So I did what any normal person would do.
I pulled out the carrot and lumps of coal out
and on the lower half of the snowman
created two testicles with the coal
and a penis with the carrot.
When everyone came out of church
a woman noticed the snowman and began to scream.
A bit alarmed, I attempted to calm her by
walking over and taking a bite of the carrot.
Then everyone began to scream.
God I miss those monkeys.