I was surprised when a hippopotamus was introduced to me as President.

I thought he’d be taller.

His knowledge of world geo-political nuances was exceptional.

He had no known ties to Russia.

Well, other than he was born in a zoo in Russia.

He was “anti-metric”, which reassured everyone as no freeway sign distances would require updating.

The press continued to dog him as they did not have access to all his tattoos and body piercings.

“Those little individual pads of butter that can be directly applied to slices of bread.”

Was his answer when asked what made us special.

After his inauguration at the “visualizing meeting” when asked what he most wanted

he said to be taller.



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