hard box of kittens


how the game is played is

I am given a box of kittens

and you are given a box of kittens

each of us leaves our tooth or teeth

on the marble kitchen remodel counter

as they are knocked out

hey, Jim…

when I said you could use my bathroom,

I did not mean you could try on and wear

a pair of my boxer shorts

me: ehhhhh…. no just keep ‘em

thank you ex-friend

it’s nearly impossible to think

that I will one day

not wake up in a ditch

on the side of the road

after taking two to the back

of my head execution style

the consultant said that our success

would be determined by the execution

of our senior management

so after donuts

I went up to them in the break room

and shot them


this morning

The “Bone Crusher” had a list for me

next weekend I think I’ll have my son visit

that will give me time to complete the list

My dad: never limit what you believe is your capacity to achieve

or your capacity for violence

Me: sleep with one eye open?

and one foot in the grave?

Dad nodding…

Me: that’s not a particularly comfortable way to sleep.

Dad smiling…

Me: yes. comfort is over-rated

Dad nodding…

Me: are they ready for the “Bone Crusher?”

Dad smiling…

Me: A monkey could be President,

but I wouldn’t want to humiliate the monkey.

Monkey: I just got outta prison.

The job as “President”  would be fine for now.





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